Letter from Pastor Cathi – June 2018
Dear friends,
In the span of 7 days in late March, I found myself in two very different settings, in the midst of two conversations that seemed to be diametrically opposed to one another. I struggled in each of them, and reality requires that I treat them both as having truth, rather than seeing either one as fully right or wrong. They were settings and conversations related to safety.
Letter from Pastor Cathi – May 2018
I am only one, but I am one.
I cannot do everything, but I can do something.
And I will not let what I cannot do, interfere with what I can do.
– Edward Everett Hale
Dear friends,
When I come across some words of wisdom, I have made a habit of printing them out so that I can reflect on them from time to time. These words, from Edward Everett Hale, hold great wisdom for me and I want to share them with you.
Edward Everett Hale was born in April of 1822, in Boston. He was the grand-nephew of Nathan Hale, the Revolutionary War hero executed by the British for espionage, and related to Helen Keller. He is most well-known as the author of the short story, The Man Without a Country. Edward excelled in school, graduating from Boston Latin School at the age of 13, and second in his class at Harvard College at 17. After attending Harvard Divinity School, he began preaching as a Unitarian minister at the age of 20. During the Civil War, Edward supported the Union efforts through his short stories and other fiction published in the Atlantic Monthly and Christian Examiner. He supported many social justice causes, especially the anti-slavery movement, adult public education, and religious tolerance throughout his life. He died in 1909 at the age of 87, but his words of encouragement live on.
There are times when the multitude of problems we face can be overwhelming. The complexity of our world and the enormity of its needs can make us feel as if one person could never make a difference. Why bother trying to help when we can do so little? It is tempting to focus on our limitations, rather than our resources. It is hard to imagine that any one person could do enough to matter. And yet, when each one of us does the small part we can do, change does happen. When one person changes his/her behavior, others around him/her will eventually change, too. It may be slow, almost imperceptible change, but it will happen. We need not, and cannot, do everything but each of us can do something to make the world a kinder, wiser, more welcoming place to be.
In his sermon for the District Conference, the Rev. John Boley, Assistant to the Bishop, invited us to “throw beauty at the world”. In the midst of the anxiety, violence, fear and division in our world, he said we can make a difference by choosing to show the beauty of God’s love and grace. Each act of faith, kindness, generosity, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, or love “throws beauty” at a hurting and angry world.
So, what will YOU do? How will you choose to “throw beauty” at the world? What “something” will you do today? Perhaps you will bring joy, or peace, or laughter, or wonder to those around you. Perhaps you will comfort one who is suffering, or love an enemy, or feed a stranger. Perhaps you will be an advocate, or a protestor, or a mediator. Whatever it may be, let’s throw beauty at the world like hands full of confetti, and watch God’s love fall upon all of us in abundance!
Shalom, Pastor Cathi
“Look up and not down, look forward and not back,
Look out and not in, and lend a hand.”
– Edward Everett Hale
April 2018 – Letter from Pastor Cathi
Dear friends,
The crocus have bloomed in my backyard, and robins have been sighted once again. We have survived another Michigan winter, and we are eager for the sunshine and warmth of spring. Easter is only days away, with fragrant lilies, colorful eggs, baby chicks, empty tombs … and a rabbit who brings chocolate and jelly beans. What’s not to love?
For those of us in the northern hemisphere, the symbols of Easter are deeply connected to the signs of spring. The holy day often coincides with the coming of warmer weather, sprouting flowers, greener grass, hungry robins and brighter sunshine. It is easy for us to make the association between the gift of resurrection and the coming to life of nature all around us. Joy and life and hope abound! Alleluia!
But what about the folks who live in the southern hemisphere? When Easter arrives for them, they are in the midst of autumn, on the edge of winter. Although they embrace the same symbols we do, those images are in direct contradiction to what they see all around them. Below the equator, the promise of new life and fertility and sustenance and hope comes when the leaves are dying and falling, when the fields are harvested and barren, when the grass withers and fades away. What does Easter feel like then? Is it easier, or more difficult, to celebrate the risen Lord?
I wonder if it isn’t more comforting to claim the joy of Easter when the world around us appears to be dying and dormant. Isn’t that when we need it most? Isn’t it in the midst of darkness that we most appreciate glimmers of light? In the places of despair and sorrow, that we most need hope? In the face of death, that we most treasure the promise of resurrection life? The gospel of Jesus Christ seems most powerful to me when it stands in opposition to the reality of the world around me. In a world torn by war and violence, Jesus proclaims peace; in the face of greed and oppression, Jesus calls for justice; in spite of our racism and fear, Jesus commands us to love. Perhaps Easter is more meaningful when it is seen as a direct contradiction to our world, rather than in harmony with it.
Maybe, one year, we will take an Easter field trip to Australia. We will hold a Sunrise Service in a barren field and proclaim life and hope as daybreak pierces the darkness. We will decorate the altar with pots of Nerine Bowdenii, and maybe add a Baobab tree. The Nerine Bowdenii is a beautiful flower with soft, fragile blossoms; and the Baobab is a tree with deep roots and nearly horizontal branches, bearing an egg-shaped fruit full of healthy seeds and nutritious pulp. Both bloom in the late autumn, when most other crops and flowers have become dormant for the winter. They are the Easter lilies of the southern hemisphere.
Until then, we would do well to remember that the promise of Easter is not only true in the springtime seasons of our lives. Regardless of what is happening, or blossoming, or dormant around us, the risen Christ gives us peace, and hope, and life. May your heart and soul be filled with all of God’s blessings as we celebrate our first Easter together.
Shalom,
Pastor Cathi
Letter from Pastor Cathi – March 2018
Dear Friends,
Is it possible to love too much? It may seem an absurd question, but it is still worth asking. More importantly, it is a question worth struggling to answer. And if we are honest, the answer may cause us some discomfort. So, I invite you to join me in that uncomfortable place for few moments …
When we go through an especially difficult time (illness, divorce, financial stress, death of a loved one, etc.) we need to know that people care about us. We appreciate knowing they are praying for us, thinking about us, ready to help if needed. Being surrounded by the love of others is a rich and welcome blessing. It gives us strength and hope when we need them most; it is the comfort of God around and beneath us. You, the people of Bethany, do an amazing job of expressing and offering that support, and I commend you. I know that it is deeply appreciated by all who receive it.
Sometimes, however, our love and support can be less helpful than we intend. Sometimes, we “love too much”, and there are two ways in which that may happen. (Entering the uncomfortable place now …)
1) Requesting, sharing, assuming information. When we care about people, it is easy to feel as if we are entitled to know details and updates about their situation, and to share what we know (or think we know) with others. Please remember:
- There is a clear line between sharing with others what we have permission to share, and participating in gossip. Knowing something does not mean we have the right to share it. It is wise to ask ourselves, “Is this my story to tell?” Most often, it is not.
- The fact that someone answered a question from us, doesn’t mean they were comfortable doing so; it may mean they didn’t know how to refuse. (If you are asked a question you prefer not to answer, it is OK to say so: “I’m not ready to answer that” or “I’d rather not talk about it” are two acceptable statements. There are many others.)
- Sometimes, we gather or share information to satisfy our own curiosity, or to make ourselves feel more important. We must be cautious about our motives, conscious or not, before we question or speak about others. Again, it is wise to ask ourselves “Is this my story to know?” before we press one another for details.
2) Re-entry during or after a difficult time. As much as we appreciate and need the support of others, it can sometimes be overwhelming. In 25 years of ministry, I have heard countless people say that returning to church after a time of stress or loss is intimidating. No one means for it to be, but it just is. Coming back to over 100 people who each ask “How are you doing?” or express sympathy or ask about personal updates can be exhausting. They know that people ask out of love, but sometimes they don’t have the energy to face that much love! What else could we do / say to make it a bit easier?
- Instead of asking, “How are you?”, simply say: “I’m glad you’re here!” or “It’s so good to see you!” or “I’ve missed you!” Offer a hug, talk about the weather, comment on the latest Red Wings game, invite them to sit with you, brag about your grandchildren, describe your pet’s newest trick, etc. If someone wants to tell you more, they will. If not, let it be. Remember: it’s not your story to know / tell.
Okay, we can leave the uncomfortable place now. (Whew!) Thanks for being brave enough to make it to the end of my letter. It’s important for us to recognize that even our best intentions may not always be best for someone else. It’s good to learn new ways of expressing the love we genuinely hold for one another, and to improve the ways we offer welcome and hospitality to others. So, keep on loving … just not too much!
Shalom, Pastor Cathi